Cast: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine, Kristin Chenoweth, Jason Schwartzman, Steve Carell, Joan Plowright, Heather Burns

(out of 4)

By Sean Chavel

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Will Ferrell or Nicole Kidman’s performance in "Bewitched." Heck, they’re the only two elements that are good in the movie, and it’s a godsend that they’re rather good because otherwise there wouldn’t be much of anything. Ferrell is still the best comedian in the movies when it comes to unpredictable spontaneity, and Kidman has never been this light on her feet before in a comic role – she’s got a fairy dust comic beauty about her in this picture. There are at least a handful of scenes in which both stars are terrific. Still the movie is far from good. Perhaps it is because the story is conceptually weak, and the writing and directing by Nora Ephron is lackadaisical.

The older audience going into "Bewitched" will probably be quite aware that it is based on a 1960’s sitcom. The advertising nevertheless has also served as a reminder that it is based on an old T.V. series, so just about everyone is going to know that. The advertising also promises that the special effects are going to be up-to-date and nifty, and it’s true, they are. In the poster, Ferrell is dressed like an insurance salesman with his shop-for-less at Ross-like tie and his pleated khakis. Kidman is dressed in devil-red, flaunting a pose that suggests that not only is she a witch (gasp!), but that she’s also the bread and butter decision-maker of the household (double-gasp!).

Kidman’s character Isabel, though, is no mom nor is she really that devious. And Ferrell is no insurance salesman, or anything resembling that. Ferrell’s character Jack Wyatt turns out to be a conceited Hollywood actor! Naïve to the way of normal life, Isabel is a witch that has traveled from afar to settle in stuck-up Los Angeles, to fit in with “normal” society. Her father Nigel (Michael Caine, invoking dry but naughty Brit humor with his role) makes snide criticisms at her by saying that she’ll never adapt to society without having to use her powers. Isabel, though, thinks she can get along just fine despite having little common knowledge. But she cheats, and relies upon her witchcraft, when situations call for it.

Ferrell, whom could be doing too close of a "Zoolander" impersonation with his performance, makes his character Jack the vainest actor alive. Jack has landed the title role in a new television update of, you guessed it, Bewitched. After a couple of box office bombs, Jack thinks he can revive his career with a hit boob-tube show. He needs a new co-star however that won’t show him up, and when he meets Isabel in a chance meeting he convinces her to audition for the show. Isabel is reluctant, I mean, aren’t all blushing shy witches reluctant? Isabel doesn’t want to play-act a witch character on television when she’s trying all her best to abandon and forget her old lifestyle. But the producers of the show feel that she is a natural and she gets the part anyway. She also supposes to herself that not only is it good money to work on a T.V. series, but that there’s a possible romantic conquest ahead in Jack. She feels love is in the air, but he doesn’t.

The rising love story between Jack and Isabel can be cute, but the film always reminds itself that these two are not “everyday” people, but actors playing actors!

Instead of coming up with fanciful situations in Ephron’s screenplay, the movie boils down to – Voila! – a lot of inside Hollywood industry jokes! Jokes about failed movie actors! Jokes about failed movies! Jokes about press agents! Jokes about the size of an actor’s trailer!

I’ll honestly report that there was a lot of hysterical laughter going on at the screening I saw for "Bewitched," but I think it was because there were a lot of industry insiders at the screening that were laughing because the jokes were poking fun at them in a way. Ephron really seems to have directed her movie that seems like in a way that she was more interested in entertaining her friends than with entertaining the rest of America with her movie. Ephron has, by the way, entertained America before with the likes of "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You’ve Got Mail," in addition to stinkers like "Mixed Nuts" and "Lucky Numbers." Bewitched is lost somewhere, in between in good instincts and her bad instincts. But sometimes her storytelling choices with Bewitched are just plain vexing.

Most audiences might be expecting some flights of fancy, like for instance, some scenes with Kidman flying on her broomstick or something else whimsical to that notion. There is one such scene where Kidman flies on a broomstick. There are a few instances where Kidman uses her powers to do house-cleaning, or manipulate things on the television set to her advantage, or magically turn back time. Once or twice these devices are amusing, but three or four times you wonder if the movie has any new tricks.

The antics at the television studio are mostly witless, and most of the supporting characters are cardboard thin. You might wonder why Shirley MacLaine and David Alan Grier were hired for this movie considering the fact that they don’t have much to do in it (MacLaine is a veteran actor, Grier is the show’s director). Ferrell, whom can be completely endearing even when he is playing a jerk, is nevertheless saddled down by a bad script with this film. Ferrell does work wonders when he gets to improvise with his character, though, but still you wonder when his performance is going to crack out of its one-dimensional shell. This comes, but later on. When Jack finally snaps out of his Hollywood actor cry-baby syndrome, you might feel it was about time for his character. Ferrell is kind of sweet when Kidman is able to transform him into a better human being, but you wonder why the screenplay took so long to get there.

The movie does, to its credit, gets something magically right about three-quarters through with a dance montage with Ferrell and Kidman kicking it and having a ball. Still, I can’t help but carp at it some more. If there’s one thing that bugged me the most about this movie it’s Jason Schwartzman’s character Richie, Jack’s snotty agent and publicist. He is a worm of a character, and quite honestly, he has one line of dialogue that’s relatively dirty for what’s supposed to be a clean family film. Sure, it is likely to go over the head’s of most of the younger audience and I don’t think they’ll pick up on it. But as an adult, I wanted to spray the screen with disinfectant every time I saw Schwartzman on film.

As a big Ferrell fan, I was real disappointed – not with him but with the movie around him. Some audiences may have stayed away from his last movie Kicking & Screaming possibly because they may felt that kiddie comedy was a trifle too juvenile. But it was a movie that delivered on what it promised to deliver – a junior league soccer comedy about a fanatical coach that sought to win games no matter what. Funny, and it delivered on its intentions. Bewitched promises a comedy about witchcraft in the domestic suburbs and it sells out for limp jokes about Hollywood-types hanging out at the Coffee Bean. Ephron’s friends are probably going to chuckle over that.